Looking Back
So another year comes to an end. This has been a good year for me, compared to the previous 3 years (2003-2005), the darkest years in my life. Looking back, I can’t believe that I made it. The pain that I had to endure, the people that I hurt! But out of the darkness emerged beauty just to guide me through. I denied him, intentionally denounced and hurt him. But he stood there like a rock, understanding where my anger was coming from, not judging me, and with all the kindness and compassion one could amass; he pulled me out of it. He is my best friend, a friend one only encounters in story books, a friend whom one should eternally be thankful for.This year saw me leaving the country where I was born and brought up in, the country that made me who I am. I was going away to find myself. But I had to reconcile my parents before I left. They didn’t want me to leave but I had to go and finally they relented. I should be very lucky indeed because my folks love me so much that they would do anything for me. Their love is the reason why I did not go astray.
A whole lot of people came into my life after I moved here, people from every part of the world. I made friends with them easily, in spite of my tendency to crawl back into my shell. The first 6 weeks were the craziest. Thanks to those Canadians. My god! They are so much fun. We were playing cards, charades, who am I, and what not! We were like kids. We would stay up till 3 O'clock in the morning, sleep for 4 hours and go to the University. We would go clubbing every weekend and dance our asses off. They are back in Canada now. I miss them terribly. I guess they miss their time here too. They still keep in touch and they even sent me cards on my birthday and I was like, “Wow, they remembered”. Anyway, two of the most amazing guys I have ever met. I should also mention my awesome Dutch and German friends. Meeting these guys and gals has instilled hope in me that our generation can make a difference in the world. Wonderful people!!!
My first relationship happened in 2006 and I truly cherish every moment I shared with him even though it’s all over now. I do not have any hard feelings against him. He is really a nice guy; it’s just that we are very different. But I want to thank him for the time he spent with me, for the memories, and I wish him good luck.
All in all, this has been a year filled with new experiences. I made new friends, I found love, it brought me heartache but I survived. You live and you learn, and this year I have learned a lot and I hope it has made me a better person.
posted by Rex @ 9:35 PM
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In love all the contradictions of existence merge themselves and are lost. Only in love are unity and duality not at variance. Love must be one and two at the same time. Only love is motion and rest in one. Our heart ever changes its place till it finds love, and then it has its rest. But this rest itself is an intense form of activity where utter quiescence and unceasing energy meet at the same point in love. Bondage and liberation are not antagonistic in love. For love is most free and at the same time most bound.